The Good and The Bad

Personally I tend to see things as all good and all bad. I do this with everything. When we initially moved abroad I thought it was awful and immediately disliked everything about it. As time went on, I started enjoying the learning curve and the new experiences and slowly South Africa, my home started become less desirable. This is common amongst people who live abroad, and I believe it stems from the fact that we are continuously asked why we decided to move abroad, and citing a change of scenery does not seem to justify the amount of effort that went into moving to the other side of the equator.

Confirmation bias plays a significant role in everything I do, the idea that we only believe evidence that supports our own point of view is something that took me a while to fully accept.

The Eiffel Tower at Night

It was not until my recent trip to Paris, that I realized that if we take the good we usually need to take the bad and even your most ideal self cannot exist without both.

Last year, it was the first time we left the Netherlands. Our trip to Paris was nothing short of amazing. Traveling is honestly the greatest reason to remain aboard. We rented a car and recieved a free upgrade. We found everything super easy, we found parking in the city centre, we enjoyed good food, we laughed and saw a couple of the major attractions. It was busy but the queues were bearable.

This year, we visited Paris again but the entire experience was different. On the first night after seeing the Eiffel Tower, we walked to our parking spot only to find that our car was towed by the police to an impound lot in Clichy. After an exorbitant fine to get our car back, I found that the city no longer held my heart. Paris, the most beautiful city felt so awful. The Eiffel Tower appeared smaller, and not only because of the thermal contraction in winter. The queues felt unbearable, and everything thereafter seemed nearly impossible. It left a great sense of insecurity amongst all of us for the remainder of the trip. This is similar to life on a daily basis, when we experience adversity of any form and it is as if we cannot trust that things will be good again.

As I look back I see that the city has remained the same. In both trips, I ate amazing food, had amazing company and laughed a lot, but this one negative experience now defines my entire Parisian experience.

As we reflect back on 2024, I resonate with the lesson that Paris has taught me. One bad event should not define our entire experience. For each of us, this year held good and bad memories. Moments we wished never happened and moments we wish never ended. The mere fact that we were surrounded by love and laughter should mean that this year was a success.

Wishing you all the best for 2025, may it be filled with love and happiness.

Till next time ♥️