Leaving Room for Growth

"Me-time" is a phrase that many people use, and it means different things to different people.

New Years Eve in The Hague, Netherlands

I have been caught multiple times taking time for things I selfishly want to do and then excusing it quickly with the idea of "me-time."

Moving abroad means all your time is "me-time" and not by choice. You live with an abundance of time that feels almost unreal. You no longer get caught up in having to lie to make excuses for why you don’t want to attend events or split time between your family and in-laws. You have so much time to do the things you want to do that you feel like a millionaire splurging, but after a few weeks, it becomes frustrating to have all this time and nothing to do. At this point, you realize that most of your adventures are a result of being surrounded by people who love you and are willing to share those adventures with you.

Some alone time is not always a bad thing. You get to really know the people around you, for me, this is my husband and kids. You spend a significant amount of time with your kids, see their progress, and even have time to finish a board game. You can focus on the things you always wanted to do and plan accordingly. You can focus on your own dreams, which can be difficult when you have no time. You even learn about yourself and pick up some hobbies.

There is another side to this; being with your family all the time can be burdensome. You may get dragged into drama you don’t need and hear conversations that you shouldn’t. You may get offended by matters that do not concern you. Those lucky enough to have the opportunity to move abroad often say that they outgrow the place they are from. I initially thought I resonated with this because I felt forced to get involved in drama, but I now realize this was a choice. For most people, you can call home and hear stories that you have heard too many times before, and it almost seems like nothing has changed. For those people, I am sure you can relate to that narrative significantly.

My biggest lesson so far is that distance is not only for you. I am most fond of the ability to watch others grow in the space I have left for them. There are people who you will realize have had so much room to grow, those who are able to take a stand for themselves, remove themselves from chaos because they were protecting you. Those who have used their time to live, to change, to heal, and grow.

Growth is good, it exists wherever you look.

Till next time. ♥️