It's not the end of the world!

The sunrise in the Hague, Netherlands

No matter where you are on the globe, at last the time has come to resume the joy of our everyday routines.

This week was stressful for all parents. In South Africa, it marks the beginning of a new school year and the release of thematric results, all in one week.

In the Netherlands we face the CITO week for the younger kids and the well awaited “adviesgesprek” for those with kids in Group 8.

This week, my older son started the conversation about his initial “adviesgesprek”. This is a term used in the Netherlands and directly translated means education advice. The high school experience in the Netherlands works differently than in South Africa in the sense that in April each year in South Africa you apply to your preferred high school and wait to get placed.

In the Netherlands when you are 11 or 12 years old based on your IQ scores, a benchmark test and recommendation from your teacher on your willingness to learn you are assigned a level of education. This dictates the type of high school you may attend. Not to bore you with the details but yes, it is possible but rare that you move between the levels once you have started high school. Nerve wrecking does not quite explain this experience.

On the one hand, it’s a bit of a relief to not have to wait for the anticipated BA on your grade 12 certificate to know what you are doing with your life, but it also places a lot of pressure on kids early on. Needless to say my son has the level of anxiety comparable to most older kids in South Africa.

Regardless of where we have lived I have always put a significant amount of pressure on my kids to excel academically. Of course, I never say it out loud but my household knows there is a serious implication if everyone does not do as I say. I think we are all similar in this way, even if we don't like to admit it. I am a firm believer in always having room for improvement.

When it comes to schooling I have always been a dictator. I decided early on that they would start school one year earlier to be able to do their A-levels in South Africa without feeling behind when starting university, with a one-year age gap.

Yet my biggest mistake when we moved abroad was I moved my children to a new country without the slightest idea of where they would go to school. In fact, they missed 3 months of schooling all together waiting to be placed. All those sleepless nights and arguments about their future flew out the window and I have absolutely nothing to show for it.

So my lesson is this: no matter how much emphasis you place on these milestones your kids will find their place in the world just as you have. Your kids trust you with their lives lives. Instead of dictating perhaps we should go through these moments with our kids. Instead of telling them what to do, we show them how to make big decisions.

Until next time. ♥️